Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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