but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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