Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
