Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
