I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
