I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
