She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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