At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You need a sexual gate keeper
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
