Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Randomize
