I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there's paper in my vomit.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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