Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We got so high we made milksteak
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
foreskin is a definite game changer
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
