just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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