so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
