How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
