your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
