I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
