hotel room ftw
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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