Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
