He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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