careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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