I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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