oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
