dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
