Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The air was thick with penises
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
