so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Can I color on your dick again?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
