its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
