there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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