I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
