Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
