Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
