Kiss
Puke
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
