In the future we'll all be gay
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We left an ass print on the piano.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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