Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
