he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
