I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
