i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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