And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
