Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
