im about as happy as oj after his trial
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
