yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize