sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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