i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
