I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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