Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
