i think i have herpe
just one?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
