Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
