32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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