so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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