The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
