i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
