She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize