Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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