I am in a vortex of obligation.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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