So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
