turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
