next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
