can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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