No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
