I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
