Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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